Leaving on an airplane....

Nathalie sleeping at the Vegas airport.

I'm not going to be blogging that much on this trip. But I thought I'd regale you with our plane adventures.

I was scheduled to leave Columbus at 5:00 and arrive in to Tucson at 10:30 with a 2 hour layover in Vegas. But because of dust storms in Vegas, we were on the plane for an extra hour, waiting for our turn to land. Then at the Vegas airport, I found out that our plane to Tucson would be delayed because an airplane from Kansas was delayed (again because of the dust storm). So we left Vegas at 10:30. I admit that after the extra-long time on the plane, when I found out my plane was delayed in Vegas, I almost cried. I was able to put Nathalie down for a short nap in the airport and Emily passed out the minute I buckled her in on our plane to Tucson.

You do the math. 10:30 Vegas time is 1:30 Ohio time. It was only an hour flight but by the time we got back to the house, the girls and I were exhausted. They didn't sleep very well, but we're doing better now.

Did I mention that Matt had to stay and work for a couple extra days? I did the plane ride alone. We won't be doing that again!

3 times zones. two outfits, 6 diapers and cranky children later....

We made it to AZ. The first night Matt went home, my children woke up during the night. Nathalie cried for 1 hour in my arms, then woke up several times in the night. Emily woke up because Nathalie was crying.

We had a slight respite at my brother-in-law's house except that I slept with Emily and she spins around like an egg-beater at night. She got more rest than I did.

Yesterday we flew from OH to AZ. We were late getting to the airport, but made it in okay.

Sorry

We're traveling and I won't be posting for another few days. Hope you have safe travels!

Christmas is supposed to be a time of relaxing...but apparently I didn't get the memo. Matt finished his semester, I made curtains and a quilt (almost), it got cold, Nathalie got two teeth and Emily is adorable. Thought I'd include this picture of my beautiful baby and a video of my child prodigy. I was trying to get a picture of her with it half over her eyes and tongue sticking out but this is what I got instead. All she does now is stick her tongue out and make raspberries. She says "mamamamama" and "lalalalalal". And she crawls like a wildfool, pulls herself up and eats anything on the floor!

Emily loves to read. After two times of reading her a book, she can usually recite it back to me. One of her favorites is the The Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carl and she has it memorized. You can see her reading it Nathalie--who isn't paying attention at all.

Pretty awesome

This year Emily and I have been enjoying the lights people put up on their houses. We take "light" walks and go to our favorite houses to look at the lights. There are some houses around our neighborhood that really knock themselves out. This is one of them. Turn up your volume so you can hear it!

P.S. Do you see Emily dancing?

What's missing this year?

I've haven't been feeling the usual Christmas excitement. While part of that is due to the fact that I feel like there's so much to do before I go out of town, I can pinpoint the other reason for not feeling "Christmasey".

My Veggie Tales Christmas cd doesn't work anymore. Hopefully I'll be able to get the music from my sis when I go home. Nothing says Christmas like Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber.

I've been debating about writing this post. By nature, I'm a very reserved person. So this is personal to me. But in the hope that someone else can relate to this, I've decided to go ahead.

I've always been self-concious of my chest. Let's face it--the Voluptuousness Goddess didn't bestow her gifts upon me. As I've gotten older, I had appreciated my body type more and started to accept the way I am. But when I had Emily I thought, "This is my chance to prove that I can be feminine even without being voluptuous." I knew I wanted to nurse Emily full-time and from what I had read nearly every woman should be able to nurse full-time.

Apparently, I wasn't one of those "nearly every woman".

For some reason, my milk dropped off when Emily turned 5 weeks. I saw lactation consultants, I tried several different herbal methods and nursing more frequently. Nothing helped and until she was 1 year old, I supplemented with formula. For awhile, I cried about not being able to breastfeed. I felt like a failure. Something was wrong with me! Why couldn't I nurse full-time?

Fast forward 20 months to Nathalie. I had done my research this time concerning nursing and natural birth. I had set goals and knew much more. I was determined to breastfeed Nathalie full-time again. She was born and fewer than 2 minutes later, she was nursing. All went well for the first two weeks. Then I got mastitis two weekends in a row and ended up going to my OB for a series of antibiotics. Because of the mastitis my milk supply dropped. It never recovered. Again I tried the methods I had used before, and I also contacted La Leche.

Again, I felt like a failure. The La Leche League Website says, "Mothers throughout the ages have been able to produce plenty of milk for their babies." So if I lived 200 years ago, my babies would starve to death? I must be a terrible mother.

Nathalie and I are almost done nursing. At this point, we're nursing because I want to feel close. She doesn't want to anymore. I couldn't nurse a mouse full-time right now. I've been mourning the loss of nursing and that's what prompted this post. I won't make it to a year of nursing with Nathalie and as I struggle with the feelings of failure, I remind myself that my worth as a mother isn't determined by how well I can nurse, but by how well I can nurture.

Differences

Natalie at 7 months.

It's amazing to me how different Nathalie and Emily are--even at such a young age. We were very busy with work and school when Emily was this age, but I remember a few things. Emily was a calm baby. I could take her anywhere and she was happy to sit in her stroller. She loved to look at things and to be with us. She sat up and crawled early. She looked like me and Matt when she was a baby, but now that she's older she is almost an exact clone of Matt. She laughed sometimes and smiled frequently--but most of the time she was content to sit and play. If I had to choose one word for her as a baby it would be content. As a toddler, Emily loves to do the same things over and over. She has lots of energy but doesn't always like new things. She is still very smart and ahead of herself developmentally. She is emotional (welcome to the 2s!) and strong willed but content most of the time.

Emily at 7 months.

Nathalie is a different story. Nathalie is very vocal and very definite about her likes and dislikes and has been from the first week. I've never met a 7 month old with so much personality. She sat up and crawled early too. If she wants me to pay attention to her, she shrieks until I do. If she gets mad at Emily for taking a toy, she shrieks until Emily gives it back. If she likes something, she kicks and kicks her legs, giggles, smiles and says, "babababababa". They were both happy babies, but where Emily was content, Nathalie is a go-getter. She loves people. She loves new things. She hates to sleep. She doesn't like to sit in the stroller for too long (or the carseat, or my lap, or the floor, or the highchair...). She wants to move and do and be right smack-dab in the middle of whatever is happening. (Can you imagine her as a 2-yr-old? I better start saving up my energy now!)

Bundles

It's been chilly-willy for us lately. We went to a Christmas parade at night and it was COLD so I bundled Emily up. Then I found this cute hat when I was going through our outdoor clothes and put it on Nathalie for our walk today. I have some pretty dang cute girls. (Yes, I know it's a video of Emily but I forgot to turn it to picture and I only had one shot!)

Bedtime Story

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a Gingerbread Family. They lived happily in a plastic bag, waiting for the day when a little child would enjoy their crisp taste and savor every bite. They looked forward to the small, clean bites that would fulfill their destiny.
One day, the Gingerbread family was given to a little girl named Emily. She happily ate them, knowing that their willing sacrifice meant her happiness. But Emily got distracted, and left some of the family members in the plastic bag on the floor. Confused, the Gingerbread Family looked around. And who did they see? Not sweet little Emily, who ate a Gingerbread Man like they're supposed to be eaten. Instead they saw the Gingerbread Monster!

The Gingerbread Monster didn't cleanly bite Gingerbread Men--she sucked and sucked on them until they slowly dissolved then she wiped their remains everywhere! She ravaged their little family, leaving some of them limbless and other smeared on the bathroom floor! It was a Gingerbread Man's worst nightmare!

When she was finished, the Gingerbread Monster smiled, drooled a little gingerbread juice and crawled away.

The End.

Stealing is a crime...

We've had some things stolen since we moved here. First was my phone which I dropped on the sidewalk in front of our house. A nice homeless man found it, took it and then when my dad called, charged my dad a $10 ransom for it. We paid the "ransom" and got it back, but I disinfected it before using the phone again.

Then was Matt's bike. He left in a hurry one day and forgot the bike lock. There went a couple hundred dollars.

Next it was my wallet, which I lost last week. We were at the library and I was carrying Nathalie and our library bag, wallet in my hand, when Emily started having a meltdown. I put my wallet in my back pocket, picked Emily up and walked out to the car. Somewhere in the 200ft between the library and the car, my wallet fell out of my pocket. I went to the library the next day and nobody had returned it. So......I've gotten a new checking account, insurance cards, coupons, driver's license, credit and debit cards and temple recommend. But that was $60.

But you know what theft makes me the most mad? Our PUMPKINS! We had two pumpkins--one orange, one green. I was waiting for them both to be orange and I was going to make homemade pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread and yesterday I noticed that they were both gone! That just RANKLES me. UGH!

Splish-splash, I was taking a bath

We have water-babies. Bath time is a highlight at our house. In fact, the other night Nathalie was hysterical because she was hungry (it'd been 3.5 hours--yeesh!). I told Emily she could take a bath while I fed Nathalie. Emily hopped into the tub and I settled on the floor with Nathalie. As soon as Nathalie realized that Emily was taking a bath and she wasn't, she refused to eat. When I put her in the bathtub, she shrieked with delight! What a funny baby! Yummy octopus!

"Wrap me up, Mommy!" Emily's favorite way of getting dry.

Heavy Equipment

The city has been widening our street and Emily has been fascinated by the front-loader tearing up the street. (Why they're doing this in November instead of August, I don't know.) We watch from a distance and they don't leave the front-loader on the street while they're gone. But.....they're using the same front-loader in the park across the street to make some basketball courts. So the other day we went to the park, found the machine and and touched it!

Also, the other day, the girls and I were taking a walk. We live a 15-minute walk from the hospital and it's a nice neighborhood so we were walking in that direction. Emily is always on the lookout for firetrucks, ambulances, police cars, planes, motorcycles and....helicopters. All of a sudden she heard the helicopter. We found it in the sky and I realized that it was heading toward the hospital to land. When I told Emily this, she jumped in our stroller and I took off running. Thank goodness it was our jogging stroller! The girls thought it was hilarious that I was running that fast, but we were able to make it to the hospital. The helicopter had landed and unloaded and the pilot was just drinking coffee, waiting. He let us come to the helicopter, touch it and look inside. It made Emily's day!!!

Sweet moment

The other morning, Emily and I had just been through a medium-size tantrum. She was still teary and I was feeling a little ruffled. I was sitting on the couch talking to Emily and holding Nathalie, when Nathalie started to nuzzle into my neck for a moment. She does that a lot, and I always love it but I especially loved it then because of Emily's tantrum. So I smiled, and then kissed Nathalie. Emily looked at me and said, "You love Nathalie."

I said, "Yes, I love Nathalie. But I love you too."

"She is your favorite Nathalie."

"Yes, she is my favorite Nathalie. But YOU are my favorite Emily."

"You are my favorite Mommy."

That was some pretty darn good sushi!

Thought I'd write this little post......4 years ago yesterday, Matt and I went on our first date. He picked me up in his awesome truck covered with mud, I was adventurous and ate sushi for the first time at Asuka in Provo. 4 years ago tomorrow, we started dating and kissed. Despite what he claims, he kissed me!

It must have been some pretty darn good sushi!

Crackle crackle!

Nathalie is a happy baby. She loves to be with people and seeing new things.

That's her usual expression. She's easy to please.

Nathalie in a tree.

Whenever we walk through the leaves, I have to say "Crackle crackle" with Emily. Leaf crunching is our favorite pasttime lately and Emily has delighted in the leaf piles around our neighborhood.

Whenever I sit Nathalie on the ground, she tries to eat leaves. Emily decided that sounded fun.

This sweet leaf pile we found. I had to drag Emily away when it got dark and when we went back the next day, it was gone.

Emily liked being up in the tree. Babydoll had to sit up there too, of course.

My little....marathoner?

My grandma tells the story that when she was about 7 and her little brother was 4, she and her mother were sitting upstairs reading. Her brother came up from the basement and said, "Well, don't ask me who started the fire in the basement!" Of course, her mother and my grandmother ran as fast as they could down to the basement, stopping to grab water from the kitchen and thereby saved the day. I'll bet my great-grandmother remembered that moment forever.

Emily has lots and lots and lots of energy. We try to go outside a lot, but on days we can't, she gets really crazy!! While I think her energy is (almost) always wonderful--she's going to be the first woman President, I can tell--I have a hard time figuring out ways for her to use ALL that energy so she isn't quite as active at home.

Yesterday she flooded the bathroom right before Matt and I went on a date. Today she put diaper cream all over herself and then stripped Nathalie naked and put it on her too, all while I was in the bathroom. When I put Nathalie down to sleep, she flooded the bathroom again. (Our bathroom floor is nice and clean now!)

I'm telling you this because I think people look at me and think, "Wow, that mom is a bad parent. She needs to keep better track of her toddler." If only they knew! I can't keep up with her! I've dropped my bags and Nathalie's carseat to sprint after Emily before she runs across the street. I've run with Nathalie's carseat and the bags before Emily runs out of Kroger. I've carried Nathalie's carseat, the bags and Emily to the car so she can't get away! In other words, she is always one step ahead.

Nathalie has a lot of energy too, which could is good and bad. We call her our "wiggle wiggle worm" because she's literally moving ALL THE TIME. When she starts crawling and walking, I will be busy. But at the same time, she and Emily ADORE each other and will have lots of fun playing together. Does anyone else have kids like this? She's not a bad child--she's happy and eager to please. She just has lots of energy. Any ideas for winter? My town doesn't even have a McD with a playplace, so we usually go to WalMart to run. What are some fun, energy-expending activities?

Oh the fun!!

Our town does Halloween a little different. We trick or treat a few days earlier than Halloween with designated times in the evening. They also suggest an age limit (which I didn't really see happening because there were parents trick or treating. Weird.) Anyway, we went trick or treating last night and Emily had a blast! Emily's first costume--Abby Cadabby. This is one of the only pictures we have of her because she was running everywhere at our church's Trunk or Treat. The night before the Trunk or Treat Emily pulled off all the little "poms" around the waist and neckline (I had glued them on) and then pulled off her skirt (which was made out of tissue paper). I cried. The next day I remade the skirt (out of more durable material) and sewed all the poms on.

I LOVE this park....really close to where we live. Right now, there is a carpet of crunchy leaves and as we walk through the leaves, Emily and I say, "Crackle! Crackle!" Emily likes to crunch them. Nathalie tries to eat them. Isn't it beautiful?

I wore Matt's Tigger outfit for Trick-or-Treating and Emily was Eyeore. It was HOT inside that outfit!

"I know. I'm cute without dressing up."

"Yay me!"

6 months....already?

19 1/2 lbs
26 inches
Happy and beautiful
I love this girl.

Today when I got out of bed, I found Matt making breakfast to bring to me in bed. Emily had eaten and he'd started a load of laundry. While I was in the shower, he got Emily dressed and Nathalie up. While I was at Nat's Dr appointment, he made the bed, vacuumed the entire house and started dusting. While I checked my email, he put Nathalie down for a nap by quietly talking to her. Who knows what the rest of the day holds for me? All I know is, I got pretty darn lucky in marrying this man. And that I definitely do not deserve him!

Chunky Monkey

I love this baby age. It's when their personalities start to really show. Nathalie is my happy baby. She loves to be around people. Naps are hard for her, because she knows something is happening around the house and she wants to be a part of it. She laughs, smiles, giggles, shrieks (happily) and is just plain happy. Sure, she can get cranky when she's tired or hungry but so do I! She moves constantly. If she's not rolling, she's inching. If she's not inching, she's kicking her legs or sucking on something, or looking around. I can tell she's really asleep when her hands stop moving because she's literally moving all. the. time.

She's also mobile now. She can't crawl yet, but between using the inchworm technique and rolling, I have to be careful where I place her. She can sit up by herself for a long time now and just yesterday she figured out how to sit up from lying on her tummy! That's my favorite, because then she can get somewhere, sit up and play with a toy. We're having so much fun with her. I can't imagine our family without her. The only way I can get decent pictures of her is using the "Burst" technique, but even then they are sometimes blurry.

I love those cheeks. I want to eat them. One lady stopped me in Walmart and said,"Your baby is so cute! I love how her cheeks bounce when the cart moves."

Her mad face.

Disaster Averted.....for now!

It's been a rough morning. For the girls, that is. This morning I spilled a tub of Oxiclean powder on the floor when I grabbed the bucket for a load of laundry and the handle broke--spilling the powder everywhere. While I cleaned up, Nathalie woke up from her nap. I sat her up outside the bathroom while I swept, but she fell over and bonked her head. Emily got Oxiclean on her hands, which I didn't know until she started crying hysterically and I realized that one of her eyes was really red and she couldn't open it. The next 15 minutes probably scarred Emily forever, as I scooped her into the bathtub trying to rinse out the powder. Then I sat Nathalie up again, but didn't catch her as she fell (she normally sits for 5 minutes without falling). Then I accidentally bonked Emily on the head with Nathalie's carseat when it slid down my arm as I was reaching for my bad. It knocked Emily over and she cried.

But at that point, I laughed. Not in a mean way, just in a "okay, today's crazy. Let's stop worrying about it!" We got chicken nuggets for lunch and had a little Halloween candy. She's still hurting though, and has woken up several times from her nap because her eye is hurting.
Anyway, here are some pictures.
The picture doesn't really show how ORANGE this tree is. It's the most fabulous orange.
I like to climb. Especially when Mom tells me not to.

These are Emily's babydolls, named "Baby" and "Babydoll". We're only allowed to take one thing with us when we leave the house, but inside the house, we do everything with them, like diaper them, feed them, swaddle them, bathe them, put lotion on them...

I am in a constant state of being overwhelmed. This feeling has been around ever since I was about six months pregnant. It seems as though my to-do list is only getting longer. Every time I cross something off, I add two things.

It seems like I can never catch up to the things I want to do. There's always that load of laundry, or the piano I'd like to practice, or the lesson I really need to plan, or the scriptures in French that I want to read. Somehow, I never make the rounds. By the way, this is not a pity-party-type-of-blog. This is a smack yourself, "welcome to life as a mom" blog.

I've discovered that you can't have it all. Being a mother of two is hard. Do I finish the dishes or build blocks with Emily? Should I hold Nathalie or fold the laundry? I'd like to say I always choose my children. But I don't. Because if I did, then we'd all go naked and hungry. I'd also like to say that I choose my children 90% of the time, but I don't do that either. But I'm working on it. It's hard not to feel like a failure when the house isn't clean, both the girls are screaming and we're eating piggies-in-the-blanket again for dinner, and I don't even sit down to eat because I don't have time. Sometimes I forget to look through the fruit flies and ironing to see my blessings.

But when I do, the vision is joyous. I see a beautiful and bright two-year-old who sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" to herself all day long. I see a funny two-year-old who likes to wash her hands and put diaper rash cream on her baby dolls when Mommy's not looking. I see an almost-six-month-old who grins from ear to ear if you just take the time to smile at her. I see a baby who follows her sister with loving eyes and laughs in her carseat. I see a husband who works so hard just so we can have a little bit more. And a husband who, instead of going off with the boys, spends his days off with his ladies.
I see this--roads which I have been traveling quite frequently.
And I see this. The colors of my utmost favorite season. Welcome to Ohio.

And this, growing on my fence.

So when I do change my state of mind, I realize that I've got it pretty good. I'm a far-from-perfect mom. And I do feel like a failure, usually about 20% of the day. Would I trade it, despite the days when I eat standing up by the sink? Not in your wildest dreams. Because look at what I've got.

Lots of suction going on

We like to vacuum at my house. Introducing.....my new vacuum!!! Courtesy of my grandmother, who is moving in with my parents and decided to give me her brand-new Dirt Devil blue vacuum.

By the way, I've been having trouble uploading my pictures. Can you see them? Please tell me if you can't!

Garden Roundup

It is probably going to frost within the next week. Here's what our garden produced this summer.

30 heads of lettuce
10 heads of green cabbage
10 heads of red cabbage
7 lbs of green beans
50+ tomatos
3 pumpkins
7 pickle cucumbers

Pretty good!!! We had a small plot at my in-laws for the lettuce. The rest of the stuff we grew at our house in buckets and planter boxes. I'm bummed because we're going to lose about 20 tomatos that never ripened.
Our tomato plants as of yesterday.

Horsin' Around

A sister in our Branch has horses, and a while ago we asked her if we could do an FHE activity at her house. Today we did it! I know, it's not Monday. But we don't actually have FHE on Monday. We have it whenever Matt's available.

Anyway, it was great! She has 5 horses, 4 Arabians and 1 quarterhorse. She also has 5 miniature horses and one of them is a baby! They were adorable....and about the size of a Newfoundland. We all got to ride one of the horses. Emily was a natural. She was so excited to ride, and when she got up she held on tight. Matt didn't have to help her sit at all. Matt and I both got a chance to ride too, but we didn't get pictures of that because the girls were crying. Emily on the horse.
Nathalie loved the horses because they would nibble on her fingers and sleeve. She thought that was great.
Matt helping saddle.

Matt kept moving, so I have very few pictures that aren't blurry. The look he is giving me is because I told him to stop moving.

Where do I begin?

I feel a little behind in my blogging....even though I've posted pictures, I haven't updated much about our lives.

Emily is an adventure. She has so much energy and is incredibly smart. We have conversations, with full sentences, real questions and smart ideas. We talk about everything we see, and read about them too. She loves to run, and we go to the park every other day or so. We try to run outside everyday or else she starts tearing apart my house! She has figured out how to climb out of her crib and so, after the third time of hurting herself, we turned her bed around again. We'll see how it goes, but now, we don't really have a choice!

Nathalie is on all fours, rocking back and forth! She really wants to crawl, and has figured out how to move her knees but not her hands yet. It won't be long....... She loves to laugh, smile, giggle, roll everywhere, and play with her sister. She is ready to eat food, but since she's still okay with a bottle, I'm still not giving her food. I feed her baby food some days when her gums hurt and she doesn't want to nurse. She LOVES being outside and watching Emily play. She can sit up by herself, but not for very long. She's getting so big!

Matt and I are doing well. Matt started an IV the other day during clinicals which was exciting. I'm just doing mom things, and keeping busy at that!

My mom and little brother came this week. It was SO fun! It wasn't nearly so hard to have her leave as last time, because I feel like I've got a handle on having two kids. Plus, this time we made plane tickets for Christmas so I'm now counting down the days (9.5 weeks) until we visit her. We had so much fun! We got to see my Grandma (her mom) and my aunt (her sister). We got to go to the park, on walks, to the duck pond and out to dinner. We ate YUMMY food (that I humbly made) and drank apple cider. It was great fun.

And always, I'm including pictures of our adventures.
Nathalie.
Emily and my brother, Bryan, on the slide. Bryan was great with Emily, and she loved having a new best friend.
My mom and Emily on the slide.
My Grandma and Emily, playing with a toy my grandma brought, which is now Emily's favorite toy!
Seriously, this child is adorable.

Reading a book about potties. Hoping to potty-train by osmosis..... :)

It doesn't get much better than this...

We had lots of fun during our Conferencve weekend. I didn't actually get to hear too much of Conference...except for a couple of talks, including Elder Holland's. Even the children were quiet during his talk, and I have to say that if you don't have a testimony after his talk, it is nobody's fault but your own.

Over the weekend we played with cousins, roasted hotdogs and marshmallows over a fire, decorated Grandma's house with Halloween stuff, went on a walk, and got a woolly caterpillar to crawl all over Emily. Emily got attacked by Sally the rooster, and Garrett (baby cousin) got attacked by Emily the two-year-old. What could be better than being with family, eating tons of food, hugging and kissing children and listening to the Prophet?
The girls eating snack.
Matt having a good time with his dad.

Emily and Babydoll eating snack.

Both the girls have beautiful lashes. Nathalie's are darker, but Emily's are curlier.

Babydoll is hungry.

I love the fact that Nathalie doesn't have a chin or a neck.

Babydoll, blankie and Emily on the moosechair.