This fall we had so many things going on. We helped a family go through their things and move, we had a young man from church living with us for three months as he tried to learn how to be an adult. We taught him how to drive, how to work harder, and helped him get several jobs and study for his GED. A friend moved here and she has cancer, so we started watching her son several times a week so she can go to her doctor's appointments. Add these things to our own family's craziness, like events at the schools and church, doctor's appointments, homework and projects, training for a half marathon, our callings at church (which are busy!), a dog, and spending time with friends, new and old, going to the missionaries, serving other people and answering their cries for help and we were running faster than we had strength.
So we decided to cut back a little. The young man moved out before Thanksgiving (he knew he couldn't stay with us forever), we told our friend with cancer that we'd love to help but we can't be the only ones (she didn't want anyone else to watch her son but us 2-4 days a week), we gave our rabbits away, we made Emily and Nan start taking the bus to and from school, we didn't plant a winter garden, we haven't done any canning and we have delegated several of our church responsibilities. We had to start telling people no, because we realized we didn't have time for our family anymore.
The thing about being so busy is that while you're providing wonderful service, other things in your life suffer. I realized that I hadn't taken the kids to the park in 3 weeks because I was constantly trying to respond to other people's requests for help. I realized that I didn't have the energy to be patient and loving because I had used all of it on non-family. I was too tired to go running or cook dinner. I was constantly behind on laundry and bills and I didn't eat meals sitting down because I simply didn't have enough time. I didn't want to listen to the girls when they told me about their day at school because I'd spent the morning listening to friends who were going through trials and needed someone to talk to.
While we love to serve, we love being with our family even more. Though still few and far between, the time with our girls and each other is so precious now. Matt and I find that we want to be around each other even more because we finally have the time! We have learned that if we let other people take and use up all of our resources, then there is nothing left for us. No time, no energy, no patience, no compassion. It took a few months, but I finally was able to tell people, "You know, I'd love to help. But I really need to be with my girls today." The girls are happier, we are happier, the house is cleaner, we have actual sit-down dinners again, and we love each other more. The best part of slowing down has been enjoying each other's company, laughing with our children and having time for tickles and talks, silliness and cuddles.
