Arizona: The Time of Our Lives

So...almost two months ago the girls and I flew to Arizona! Matt had a really intense 8 week summer semester and when we looked at it, we decided that the best thing for all of us would be for me to get out of dodge so I wouldn't have to worry about bothering him during school and he would be able to focus on school. It was hard, but it turned out great. We went to AZ for my little bro's graduation from highschool!! Here's the proud graduate with Nan.

My mother's father was able to fly in as well, and I was able to sneak a rare picture (albeit blurry) of them together. I don't think they have many pictures of them together.

Oh, doodlebugs. You're so cute!

This is my nephew, Baby Noni (not really, that's his nickname) playing in my parent's little fountain with the rocks. He was absolutely devoted to putting rocks into this little bucket.

And Charlotte barlett in her sombrero.

Granny taught me to love books, and now she's teaching my girls the same! (Well, Matt and I are too...but Granny reinforces it)

We had a birthday party for my cousin's daughter. Don't you love the girls' outfits? I hope this isn't a premonition of their future occupations....

Silly smile. She still hasn't lost any teeth!

This is after I tickled her.

We walked to the pond in my parent's neighborhood and enjoyed a beautiful Arizona sunset.

Finally! A cute smile!

My mom, sister and Emily eating the bread that the ducks didn't want.

Baby Noniiii!!!

Grandpa is always good for playing horsey. I have many memories of that!

We went to the pool daily, sometimes twice daily. It was heaven and wore the girls out. Don't tell them, but that's why I took them so much!

My parents were getting ready for a church pioneer trek and tried out their outfits for us. Runway ready!

And this is on the flight home....

Charlotte and Baby Noni. He loved playing with the girls, but he was really unsure of having so many other children around. Especially Charlotte, because she loves him soooo much.

Despite the blurry low-light phone pic, Charlotte is still cute.

Still cute.

Every morning my dad goes out to feed the quail. They now come running when they hear him open the door. Charlotte, who typically got up around 5:30 or 6 am (thank you time zone), began joining him every morning.

They asked me to do their hair for church in this style.

Cute, but you can see here that she's not sure of it. Sure enough, she took it out.

Pond time.

All my siblings were able to be there. None of our husbands came, which would have been SO fun, but at least we got to see each other! This is my parents, their children and all their grandchildren.

Making the background for El Tejano, a local puppet show we put on in the family room.

Set work for El Tejano.

And the hot tub. Charlotte preferred that.

Grandpa playing "Dr. Tickle" which is where he talks in a funny accent and "tests" their feet, knees, thighs, bellies, underarms and necks for ticklishness. Is that a word?

The flight home...

All in all, it was so fun. The flights were a lot easier than I thought. I was really worried about doing it by myself, but the girls were amazing on the plane. Lydia was probably the hardest because she wanted to get down and run. We had such a great time!

Lydia's in the Spotlight!

One of my favorite bloggers is Miggy, from This Little Miggy Stays Home (thislittlemiggy.com). Miggy has a daughter named Lamp who has congenital limb difference, and so has some very special needs. Since Lamp was born, Miggy has done a "Special Needs Spotlight" nearly every Friday, highlighting children who have special needs, anywhere from ADHD to cancer to Trisomy 9.

Well, this last week Lydia got to have her turn in the spotlight! Check it out, and also, do yourself a favor and read the Spotlights and Lamp links on her blog. Miggy and her family are amazing and you will find yourself falling in love with Lamp.

http://www.thislittlemiggy.com/

Charlotte's Accident: CPS

I wake up on Thursday feeling much better after my disorienting Wednesday. Still just me and Emily, so we take it easy all day. I think we went and visited Tammy in the morning.

Around 1:00pm, I had just put Charlotte down for her nap. Someone knocks on the door, but when I open it, I don't recognize the woman standing there.

"Hi, I'm from Children's Protective Services. May I come in?"

I let her in, but I have no idea why she is here. Then she sits down and starts talking.

Many of our friends knew about Charlotte's accident, and news of it had spread around town. Many people were concerned for us, praying for us. But somewhere, somehow, the story had been convoluted.

The CPS lady asked if I had a daughter who'd recently been involved in an accident. Then she asked how the accident happened. I told her, and she replied that someone had heard that Charlotte had been hit by a car because she'd been playing unsupervised in the road. So whoever it was (she wouldn't tell me, not allowed I suppose), had decided to call CPS without confirming the facts.

I responded that I would never let Charlotte play in the road, much less unsupervised. I gave her the accident report (To this day, I'm so glad I got her accident report the day before). She read it, made a few notes. I gave her our discharge papers from both hospitals, which she read. Then she said that obviously the rumor was wrong and she would close the file, but before that she had to see Charlotte.

I explained that Charlotte was sleeping and I'd been given instructions to let her sleep as much as possible, so I didn't want to wake her up. The CPS lady said that she had to see Charlotte before she could close the file. So upstairs we went, where I woke up my tired, injured baby to show her to the CPS lady. I was very angry with her (the lady) at this point. Then we went back downstairs and I escorted her out of my house.

To this day I don't know who reported us, but I was so angry. I have a few suspicions, but the nerve of that person, to report us without asking what really happened. And then, to have me wake up my baby who needs to sleep because of her concussion, just so she could see the baby!

Charlotte's accident: getting to Nationwide and the blessings of being in Columbus

While Charlotte got her IV, my mother-in-law took me home to shower and get things for the hospital. Because we'd rushed out of the house that morning, it was a disaster. Beds unmade, laundry on the floor in the laundry room, dishes in the sink, I think a few dishes on the table even. I got home and jumped in the shower.

My mother-in-law kept coming in and asking where things were. "Where are her diapers?" "Where is your toothbrush?". By the time I got out, she'd packed most of it. She asked if I had called my parents yet. I hadn't, since I hadn't had my phone. She handed me my phone and I called my dad.

"Dad, Charlotte and I have been hit by a car. The doctor says she'll be fine, but she's got a skull fracture and severe concussion and we're transferring her to Nationwide Children's. I'm fine, just a few scrapes. I'll call you when I know more from the doctors in Columbus."

My dad said that after that call, he closed the door to his office for the rest of the day.

My mother-in-law took me back to the hospital. We said our thank-yous to the nurses and Tammy and her sons. My father-in-law drove Matt (who had worked the night before) in our van, and my mother-in-law drove their car with Nathalie. I got into the ambulance with Charlotte who was sleeping. She was strapped to the backboard, tiny little c-collar on, IV in her arm. She looked beautiful.

The ambulance blared all the way to Columbus. We made the trip in about half the time it normally took to get there. We pull up, get Charlotte out and they rush her into the trauma room at Nationwide where there is a team of about 20 people waiting for us. I stand in the corner while Charlotte is surrounded. She's doing so well though, so the chaos is short-lived, and after questions and looking at the scans, the team leaves me with two nurses and I get to sit next to Charlotte's bed. Doctors come and go, specialists come to talk, and finally Matt walks in. We talk with some of the doctors and then he sends me out to the waiting room to let my father-in-law come back (no more than two people with the patient at any time). Finally, around 5 pm that night, the doctors say she's going to be fine and move us upstairs to monitor her throughout the night. I finally get something to eat; it's been about 24 hours.

Matt's siblings that live in Columbus come by that night, after their kids are asleep. My sister-in-law Megan brings some dinner for us. My brother-in-law is a doctor and goes over everything with Matt. We talk for a little bit while I'm holding Charlotte. Matt is literally falling asleep while he talks, so one of his brothers tells Matt that he's coming home with him (the brother) and sleeping there. Matt protests, but everyone (including me) strong arms him into going and getting some rest.

A friend tries to stop by after work (Tammy's daughter) but visiting hours are done, so she buys a balloon for Charlotte instead and has it delivered to our room. I talk to my parents and let them know everything is okay.

Everyone leave, and I'm alone with my baby.

Charlotte's Accident: Our Hospital

More thoughts on Charlotte's accident, because I can't seem to get it out of my head today. written July 9, 2014.

When I picked up Charlotte and she was limp in my arms, I knew something wasn't right. The driver asked if I wanted to come into her house and use the phone. I had left my phone at home (stupid!), so I said yes. Instead of calling 911 though, I called our ER. Everyone who worked there knew our family, so I talked to a clerk and told her what happened. She said to bring Charlotte in. I'm still not sure why I didn't call 911, but I was pretty confused at the time.

The driver took our bikes and put them on her porch. Then we climbed into her car (the same one that hit us!) and drove us to the ER. Charlotte was in and out of consciousness. She pulled into the driveway at our ER and I jumped out with Charlotte. I didn't even pay attention to see what Nathalie was doing; I just trusted that she'd follow me. The driver got out and held Nathalie's hand as they followed me in. A team of nurses was waiting for me at the front and took me straight to one of the Trauma Rooms. No triage for us. Immediately Charlotte was strapped down, c-collar on to stabilize her neck. For the first time since she'd been hit, Charlotte started really waking up and she started screaming. I was so relieved to hear her scream. She had only moaned a few times in my arms as she drifted in and out.

The lead nurse, a fantastic nurse and good man who knew us well, told me that they had to take Charlotte to get a CT Scan and x-rays. I couldn't accompany her. They wheeled Charlotte out of the room and down the hall. I was left in a room with the driver and Nathalie. Another nurse came in and asked me if I wanted to call someone. I tried calling Matt, but he was sleeping because he'd just gotten off work. He leaves his phone outside of our room when he sleeps. I couldn't remember anyone's number...until completely unexpectedly, the number of our very close friend, Grandma Tammy, came to my mind. I called Tammy. Told her that we'd been hit by a car, were at the hospital and could she please go get Matt? Tammy and Chris had a key to our house, so I knew she'd be able to get Matt. She agreed and I hung up.

Then, another completely random thing happened. A nurse, who very rarely works at the hospital (she worked at our pediatrician's office and her husband was our pediatrician), walked by. She said, "Michelle, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I told her what happened briefly and she said, "I'm calling Mom and Dad", meaning my in-laws. She was very close to my in-laws and had their phone number, which was a literal blessing from heaven since I couldn't remember their number. She went and called them, then came back in and gave me a hug and sat with me until the nurses brought back Charlotte.

Tammy, her two sons and Matt arrived. As soon as they arrived, the driver of the car, who had been taking care of Nathalie, handed Nan to Tammy and went out to call the police. Matt jumped into nurse mode and found the doctor on duty and looked over Charlotte's CT scans. He spent about 20 minutes consulting with the doctor, and then the doctor came in and told us he thought Charlotte needed to be transferred. Matt didn't want her to, but that was more because he didn't like that particular doctor. I told Matt that we needed to wait for his dad to come and then we'd make a decision.

It didn't take very long until my in-laws came. They'd made the 75 minute drive in 45 minutes. They came in and held Matt and I. My father-in-law and Matt went back to the doctor to look at the CT Scans again and my mother in law sat next to Charlotte, who was getting really sleep by this point from her concussion. My father-in-law and Matt came back into the room and Matt agreed that we needed to transfer her. We decided on Nationwide because Matt has two siblings in Columbus.

Then Matt, my father-in-law and one of Tammy's sons surrounded Charlotte and gave her a priesthood blessing. My father-in-law anointed her head, Matt blessed her. Matt, who had been so brave and on top of it up to this point, lost it during the blessing. Tears rolled down his face as he told her that she still had things to do on this Earth, and asked her to stay. That we loved her, that we needed her. We all cried. The Spirit was there.

After the blessing, the nurses came back in and put an IV in her hand while my mother-in-law took me home to get a few things for the hospital. Tammy, Matt, my father-in-law, her sons and Nan stayed with Charlotte.

Charlotte's Accident: Going Into Shock

Today I am going to (hopefully!) finish Charlotte's settlement. I've spent the morning organizing her bills, appointment summaries, diagnoses, etc. Because of that, her accident has been on my mind. Here's part of the story. Hopefully this helps someone understand their own feelings some day. First, a timeline summary.

August 27, 2012: Charlotte and I get hit by a car reversing out of the driveway. I have some scrapes and a bruise or two, Charlotte has a severe concussion, skull fracture and some brain bleeding, which, thankfully, is bleeding into her ear canal like it's supposed to. Head to our hospital, transferred to Nationwide Children's Hospital.

August 28, 2012: Wait all day....finally discharged from Nationwide around 5pm. I haven't slept in 34 hours, since I had to hold Charlotte all night because she was crying about her IV and kept throwing up. Drive home, hold Charlotte's hand the whole time, get home and go to sleep.

August 29, 2012

Charlotte and I wake up at the normal time. My mother-in-law has had Nathalie since the accident, so I only have Charlotte and Emily. Normal morning routine, then get ready to go to the store and the police station.

At the police station I feel a little bit unsettled, but I'm able to talk to the police officer and clerk and get the accident report. I had to pay $4 for the report and I remember feeling really irritated that I had to pay for my own accident report!

After the police department, we head to the store. I have a list in hand; just basic items, like bread, milk, cheese, etc. For some reason, I can't concentrate on the list. It takes enormous effort to look at the list, read what I need and then head to the location where it is without forgetting along the way. I'm not able to focus very well. Matt calls me while I'm at the store to ask about something. I think he was asking what I wanted for dinner, and I remember saying, "I don't know. You choose. I'm having a hard time making decisions now."

Finally, after 45 minutes in the store for 10 items, I make my way to the register and check out. We get back to the van, load up the groceries and I feel so disoriented. It's not that I'm dizzy or nauseated or blacking out-- I just can't concentrate on anything.

The day passes in a fuzzy way. I put a movie on for Emily, and Charlotte and I take a nap. Matt sleeps for work. We have dinner as a family (sans Nathalie) and walk Matt to work. Come home, put Emily and Charlotte to bed. I finish up my nighttime tidying and chores, and head to bed because I'm still exhausted.

I'm praying on my bed, thanking Heavenly Father for protecting Charlotte and all of a sudden I am overcome with crying. Sobbing, hysterical, gulping for air. I'm shaking, literally bawling (trying to be quiet, so I don't wake the girls). After about 15 minutes of hysterical crying, I am able to calm down. Still shaky, I climb under the covers and go to sleep.

I had been completely calm and in control for the last two days-- no shock, no hysteria. I was calm in both hospitals, able to do without sleep and food for really long periods of time, calm when I met with the doctors, calm in the ambulance, calm on the phone with family and friends. But two days later, I was obviously in shock. Being unable to concentrate, unable to make decisions, and then of course, my break down, was when I finally went into shock.

Home

The girls and I just got back yesterday from our Midwest tour. Being an absolutely insane and foolishly optimistic person, I decided to take the girls by myself for 17 days to see Indiana and Ohio and the people we love in them. It was madness. Sometimes yelling and crying madness and sometimes wonderful, happy madness. Matt stayed home and basically did nothing but eat, sleep, and homework the entire time I was gone.

But now we are home. My bed was complete heaven last night. We were so tired that we came into the house, had a bowl of cereal and went to sleep! We didn't even unload or unpack anything!

It feels good to be home.