Today I put away most of Lydia's 0-3 month clothes and got out some of her 3-6 month clothes. She's still super skinny, but she's so long that she needs the next size up.

As I was putting her clothes away, I had the thought, "What if this is the last time I put these clothes away? What if I never have another girl to wear these?"

It was a sad thought.

I don't know if we'll have more children. We would both like more, but we don't know if it's the right thing for our family. (Disclaimer: we're not discussing having more children right now, other than vague ramblings.)
We know that right now we are at our emotional maximum capacity with our four beautiful daughters. Lydia is a needy child, even without MCADD, and we want to make sure that we don't shortchange any of our girls.

Plus, if we choose to grow our family more, we would like a boy. I know it might seem shallow, and this statement in no way infers that girls are inferior. It's just that we have four daughters. And it'd be nice to have a change.

I don't know why I'm writing this post except to say that I have loved and continue to love having my four daughters. I don't wish any of them were boys. I don't know if four is the magic number for our family, but I know that I felt saddened by the idea that I may never dress another baby girl. I have so loved these baby girls of mine.

6 Months!!! A whole 6 months!!!

Has it been six months since that glorious birth?

 It sure has. This little girl turned six months last week, but we were in the midst of Halloween activities and I didn't have time to blog. Look at those beautiful eyes! And those lashes! This girl is a stunner, that's for sure.

A few things about Lydia:

She's not a big smiler, even to us. But she is ticklish and we can usually get her to smile that way. She is tickling when you nibble her elbows, nuzzle her collarbone or tickle her thighs. She loves to be held (understatement!!!) and LOVES to be outside. She rarely cries when we're outside, even if she's tired or hungry. She must be my child, since I'm so much happier outside.

She's still a Mama's girl. She still sleeps with me at least half the night. She will tolerate Matt as long as she can't see or hear me, but once she does, it's all over for Matt. She tolerates her sisters except Charlotte. She doesn't like Charlotte that much.

Lydia loves her pacifier, loves her bouncer seat and is getting used to the stroller. She doesn't like loud noises, baths or being putting down. She loves being worn. She babbles "dadadadada" all the time. She is the drooliest baby I've ever had-- she goes through 6 bibs a DAY! And they have a middle layer of fleece (I made them specifically), but when we change the bibs, they are soaked. The drool is crazy.

She's a petite little thing-- stil wearing 0-3 month clothing. She is long, long, long and so she needs 3-6 months sometimes but she's swimming in them. I'm guessing she's around 14 lbs. She's a mover and a shaker! She rolls all over the place, scoots, spins, reaches, and is starting to sit up better and better. And today she got up on all fours for a few seconds. She's going to be fast, I can tell!

Oh, sweet girl. We're so happy to make it to 6 months with you!

Seven things for Sunday

1. The weather here is like a perpetual summer!! This last week it was mid 80s every day, mid 60s at night. Some days we love it, some days we wish for a nice cool fall day. It looks like we'll get some "fall" this week-- mid 70s. I'll actually be able to put on my jeans!

2. Speaking of putting on my jeans, I can now fit into a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothes. It's taken consistent calorie counting and exercise, but I am slowly losing weight. I'm facing a bit of a conundrum though-- my legs and derriere fit into my size 8s, but my waist doesn't! What's going on there?! It doesn't seem to matter whether or not I wear low riders or high waisted pants-- my waistline is not budging from a size 12 and I still have a small front pooch. Any ideas?

3. Speaking of exercise, I am now running at least 4 miles in 45-48 minutes several times a week. I think I'm going to sign up for a 5k in January, a 10k in the spring, and a 15k at the end of the summer. I can run 5 miles with no problem, but I'm not doing it consistently yet.

4. What's the point of all the running? Well, first of all, I love to run. It's therapeutic and meditative to me. I usually ponder or recite a mantra and I come away feeling more energized and emotionally rested than before. But also, I'd like to run a half-marathon next fall. I am hoping to run the Columbus Half'Marathon in Ohio which benefits Nationwide Children's Hospital. Nationwide has a special spot in our hearts because of Charlotte and Lydia. It would mean a lot to me.

5. Speaking of Lydia, she has been gaining weight. She also likes store bought banana baby food, cookies, bread and apple strawberry puffs. She finally has an appointment with the metabolic clinic. Unfortunately it's in Atlanta which means a 4 hr drive one way. She also has an appointment with a geneticist, but he only comes once a month here and so her appointment isn't until March. This little girl is so active!! She really loves me too. We are still co-sleeping most of the night and both of us love the snuggling!

6. Speaking of March, Matt's next birthday is the big 3-0. I want it to be really great for him because he's usually a grump about his birthday and this one's a big one. Does anyone have anyone fun ideas of things I could do, theme suggestions, gift suggestions?

7. Also speaking about Matt, I don't do a lot of it. Matt is great. He is helpful. He's a great cook. Better than me! He is great at making bread. He is great with the kids and it is because of him that Nathalie is starting to sound things out. He gets Nathalie. He's creative and fun and the one person guaranteed to make me smile, even when I'm irritated at him. He doesn't complain when I fall asleep every time I put Lydia down for a nap. Even during his busy homework days, he comes out of the "hole" (also known as our office/bedroom) and gives the girls a hug when they get home from school. He's just great.

When In Doubt, Feed Her More

So. MCADD.

We're still trying to figure this out. We have been super blessed for a number of reasons. First, of all the metabolic disorders she could have, MCADD is the mildest. Day to day, it's easy. Second, she has made it through a number of illnesses without a real crisis. Even this last weekend, she threw up and I was so close to taking her in. I had already called her geneticist, I was packing my bag and I was waiting to see if she could keep anything else down. And she did. So I unpacked my bag, kept feeding her and we were fine. Matt and I feel supremely blessed every single day that she goes without a crisis.

But there are trickier parts too. I've mentioned before how Lydia is a fussy baby. She's still fussy. Some days (like today), I can't even put her down. At all. She did better this afternoon, but this morning she screamed when I put her down to dress, brush my hair and teeth and go the bathroom. Screamed. At the top of her lungs. She's 5 1/2 months old, and I guess I thought it would have gotten easier by now.

We're not sure how much of it is due to hunger. See, with MCADD, since Lydia cannot change the calories she ingests into calories she uses, she's hungry a lot. It'd be like everyone around you having milkshakes for each meal and you don't get a full cup. You don't even get a half cup. You're trying to make it on 1/3 of a cup of milkshake. So you're a lot hungrier than everyone else and you have to eat more frequently. When other babies get the full calorie amount from formula, Lydia's getting a small percentage. This is especially true right now because normal formula uses coconut oil as its main source of fat. Coconut oil is a medium chain triglyceride. So she's barely getting anything.

This probably explains why she's dropped weight percentiles. We still don't have a geneticist here (don't get me started on the state of Georgia) but her pediatrician is concerned about her dropping weight percentiles. Because it means she's not getting enough calories, which could mean she's more likely to have a crisis.

So what do we do? Well, she's old enough that we're trying to introduce solids. But she pretty much hates everything we give her except Gerber's arrowroot cookies. Which are processed (gasp!) and have in them High Fructose Corn Syrup (double gasp!) As much as I don't like that, what am I supposed to do when my baby NEEDS more calories than she can take in by drinking formula?

We've also been adding rice cereal to her bottles. This has actually helped a lot. It's made her go from eating every hour and screaming in between to eating every two to three hours. Sometimes even FOUR at night (sounds like heaven to me!). I'm hoping to get her used to the taste enough that I can start giving it to her with a spoon.

In the meantime, every day is hit and miss. I feed her 4 oz bottles every 90 minutes or so with rice cereal and formula. I give her HFCS processed cookies to num on and we're working on other things. She's now only waking up 3 times at night instead of 4 (but inevitably, one of my other children wakes me up that fourth time). She's a terrible day sleeper, but I can't do much on the sleep training front since she's going to have to wake up in the middle of the night for a long time.

If you've made it this far through the ramblings of a very sleep deprived mother, congratulations. This is a tricky thing and it's awfully hard to concentrate when I'm so tired.

Kirby and Fraggle-- Besties

Kirby and Fraggle are Nan's two loveys. Kirby is a sloth.

He likes to borrow Lydia's clothes. Sometimes he is a she.

Fraggle is a saddle-wearing dachshund.

Together they conquer the coffee table and offer rides to the Barbies!

Little Miss Lydia

 Lydia had her 4 month appointment this week! Yes, technically she turned 5 months already but because of insurance issues, we were finally able to get her in this week. Developmentally she's doing awesome! She was almost 27 inches long (95%) and 14 lbs 2 oz (28%). So really long and skinny. Lydia is just starting to grow out of the smaller 0-3 month clothes. I've actually had to buy a few outfits for her because I didn't anticipate her needing 0-3 month clothes for this long.

 She's really improved in her mood. She's not crying as much. She rolls both ways very easily. She loves to grab and suck on things. She can scoot/spin in circles unintentionally. She's starting to sit up better. We're trying to get her to like solids, but so far the only thing she likes is sucking on animal crackers! Lydia is doing great developmentally. The biggest problem with Lydia is actually Charlotte! Lydia cries if Charlotte gets too close. I wonder why......

As for her MCADD, Matt and I have been really blessed. Lydia's been sick a few times and struggled a little bit with her 2-month shots. We split up her 4-month shots too and she did a lot better.We haven't had an issue with an MCAD crisis yet even with colds.  She's still not allowed to go more than 4 hours without eating. The biggest concern right now is that she's not gaining weight quickly enough, but since she's on target everywhere else, her doctor is just going to be watching that. We are so, so blessed that she is healthy and her body is able to handle minor illnesses without problems.

We sure love this little girl!

Our Promised Land

I was born in Ohio. We moved to Upstate NY when I was 11. After I graduated high school, I spent summers in Arizona interspersed with college in Utah.

Matt was born in Montana. He moved to OH when he was 12 (and I was 10). Then he went on his mission to France/Switzerland/Luxembourg. He followed with a few years at BYU where we met, married and lived for our two first years of marriage.

In 2008 we moved back to Ohio, and we left in 2013. My total years in Ohio now equal 16. Matt's equal 11.

Ohio is my home. It's where I am comfortable. I love the Midwest. I love the seasons, the farms, the people. Matt loves the land, the dirt, the trees. My grandparents are in Indiana, most of Matt's family is in Ohio, Indiana or Michigan. Ohio has offered us the lifestyle we want to live-- winters, summers, springs and falls. Pumpkins, apple cider, swimming in creeks, running through corn fields, thinking that all your friends are your cousins because we see cousins so much. Directions like, "And when you cross that there creek, pass the stump that looks like a dawg, turn right at the road without a sign and you'll see the house."

I miss Ohio.

Georgia isn't terrible. It's been a rough adjustment for a lot of reasons-- mainly because Georgia has very specific ways of doing things that don't seem to make a lot of sense. It's also excruciatingly hot here. And this summer was mild, with it in the high 90s for the month of August.

We love the beach. I think we're going to LOVE winter here because we'll be able to get outside. In the last two weeks, it's finally been nice enough to play at the park. We love the green here. We love that we can eat fresh fish a couple times a week because it's cheap and available. We like our house. The farmer's market here is great. Historic Savannah is beautiful. We love learning about the tides and hunting for crabs in the tide pools. Next month we're going oyster hunting. We saw our first cotton field on Saturday.

We're trying to live in the present. We have a general idea of when we're leaving GA but we're not trying to rush it. We want to enjoy life here and soak it up. We're here for a reason, besides graduate school. Heavenly Father has a purpose for us in Georgia. We know that for sure because of blessings and plenty of prayers on our part.

But someday.........Someday we'll go back to the Midwest. That's where our hearts are. That's where our farm dreams are. That's where our family is (most of it).

We like Georgia. We miss Ohio.